Jim the Magical Pigeon
by Tack45
Summary: Wow...this one is stupid...and only slightly related to Monty Python. But if you've seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail (or whatever it is) then you'll see the resemblence(sp?).


Disclaimer: Ok, nothing really for this story, but I just felt like noting that in my other story, "Strike.," I don't own any of that, whoever made Warhammer does (citadel?). Ok, don't sue me! *****  
  
Once upon a time there lived a magical pigeon that could turn string into rock. People came from all over the world with balls of string to see the magical pigeon on top of his magical hill, Mt. Hill. No one knew why the hill was magical but everyone knew it was.  
Whenever someone came to see the magical pigeon, recently named Jim for obvious reasons, they would have to pass a test in order to speak with him. When one such adventurer, George, came to see Jim and have his ball of string turned into a rock; Jim's lowly servant, the acorn god Bob, immediately stopped him. Bob told George that he would have to answer three questions in order to see Jim.  
First, Bob asked George to state his name, and he did this fairly simply. Next, George was required to tell Bob his quest. George was prepared for the worst on the last question. Luckily he was the 286th person to come and got an easy question. He was asked for his favorite color, which he said was blue. He passed on to see Jim.  
As George continued up the hill to see Jim, he began to hear the faint trace of frilly Irish bagpipe music. As he got closer he confirmed his thoughts: this was the place where all the frilly Irish bagpipe players lived. It was a place of total insanity! George was about to break when the music stopped.  
He looked up to see Jim outlined at the top of the hill. Slowly George approached, and as anxiety built up he began to run. When he reached the top Jim let out a long coo. George felt his coat pocket grow heavy, and when he reached in he no longer felt a ball of string but a rock. He thanked Jim and ran down the hill before the infernal frilly Irish bagpipe players could start up again.  
As he reached the bottom of the hill he saw Bob. He threw the rock at him, knocking him out cold. George ran to get another ball of string from his cabin back in town.  
George retrieved his string from his cabin and headed back towards the hill. As he got closer he noticed that Bob was beginning to awaken. George slowed to a halt and went to speak with Bob. Bob stopped him and said he would have to answer the three questions again in order to see Jim. George agreed to do so.  
The first two questions were the same as the last time. But the third was not. George had a problem. He did not know the air velocity of an English swallow and needed to in order to pass. While George was thinking Bob was celebrating because he remembered to say European swallow and not just swallow.  
George finally responded that he did not know and he was prepared for what would happen next. A hole opened in the earth and George was thrust into it. George knew that people who went into the pit of no return did not return, and he did not expect to return. No one missed him and very few people noticed he was gone right away. Shortly afterwards, one brave soul, Gregory, found himself desiring to go up the hill.  
Gregory was a young man, barely in his twenties. He knew that there was great risk in going to see Jim, but he wanted to anyway. He said goodbye to his friends and family, and he headed towards the hill.  
It was a late spring afternoon and Gregory was getting along just fine with his ball of string in his pocket when he saw it. Directly in front of him was the patch of trees that signaled the bottom of the hill. As he got closer he could see Bob waiting to greet him. He answered Bob's three questions easily, for they were the first set George got, and headed up the hill.  
That was when he heard it. It was the most joyful sound he had heard in all of his life. It was the terribly annoying music (if you can call it music) of the frilly Irish bagpipe players and it made Gregory very happy. He realized at once that this was where he would spend the rest of his life.  
He went to see Jim the magical pigeon first. Jim let out a long coo and, magically Gregory's ball of string was transformed into a rock. He immediately carved the rock into a bagpipe and, using his own magical powers, turned it into a real bagpipe. He joined the rest of the frilly Irish bagpipe players in playing frilly Irish bagpipe music. He was so good at playing frilly Irish bagpipe music that he was named vice-king of the frilly Irish bagpipe players' hill. The king just so happened to be Jim.  
  
*Tack45* 


End file.
